Let’s face it the concept of space-sex is pretty hot. Plus, when we humans eventually strike out to create colonies on other planets , we’re probably going to need to procreate even on the way there. But just how complicated will it be to put said bun in the oven while we’re on our way to another planet?
the fun part
January 11, 2029
The Gateway, Lunar Orbit
Well how was it?
What?
Don’t what me…how was he…you know…in bed?
For one, we weren’t in bed…and for two…it is none of your business.
I’m your sister, of course it is my business.
Fine…it was…uhh…gross…yea, I don’t really have another description for it.
Gross, what do you mean?
Well…it was bit like fucking in the middle of a kids pool, but the pool is filled with sweat and it is 100 degrees outside…oh…and you can’t actually do much fucking….because you are floating.
Hmm…I imagined sex in space to be a little more fun…maybe you are just bad at it…you always were the one who had a hard time with men
Fuck you Kylie…I may not be a whore like you….but I do just fine with me…well…so long as I have a literal leg to stand on.
Oh gawd Jess…that joke was worse than you description of what has made its way into like every romance novel since like 2012.
The Real Deal
Sex in space is a logistical nightmare with problems ranging from floating fluids to shrinking manhood’s, according to a NASA-funded scientist.
John Millis, a physicist and astronomer, recently discussed the issues faced by consenting astronauts who wish to engage in naughty acts in micro-gravity. Millis, of Anderson University in Indiana, compared sex in space to having intercourse while skydiving…difficult but not impossible.
“The issues surrounding the act all revolve around the freefall, micro-gravity, environment experienced by astronauts,” he said. “Imagine engaging in sexual activity while skydiving — every push or thrust will propel you in opposite directions.
“Even the lightest touch can make it difficult to stay in contact if both persons are not properly anchored. The astronauts would need to brace themselves against the space station and even each other. “A shared sleeping bag, or similar, would perhaps be the most useful.”
Locking bodies is only the first problem
In micro-gravity blood rises to your head, instead of your genitals – making it harder for both men and women to get aroused. This low blood pressure below the waist also causes the tissue in a man’s penis to shrivel — potentially impacting an astronaut’s confidence when it comes to liftoff.
Another issue is that male testosterone levels plummet in space, meaning that rocket-riding adventurers suffer from a lack of sex drive. In fact, it appear that the the heart will shrink over time the longer astronauts are in orbit. That means there is less blood in our lower extremities to be used for fun.
Surely there isn’t more bad news…
Sex in an environment lacking gravity would result in all fluids such as sweat, vaginal wetness and semen pooling and floating around the cabin — making the high-jinks more than slightly uncomfortable. Well assuming you don’t enjoy having sex in a pool of your own body fluids.
Because of the micro-gravity environment sweat and tears don’t run down the astronaut’s bodies like it does here on Earth, instead it pools like small ponds of fluid near where it was secreted.
Ok so how about some solutions
In his book, “Life in Space,” NASA technician Harry Stine claimed that sex had been simulated by the space agency – and that a lucky “third person” was the best way to facilitate the friskiness. No not like that…think more anchor than participant.
The third person would serve to hold/push one of the participants against a wall, while that participants hold the other one.
Sci-fi author and inventor Vanna Bonta created an outfit known as the 2suit to prevent space-sexual frustration.
Bonta came up with the idea while she and her husband were taking part in a zero-gravity flight and were unable to hug each other because of the weightlessness.
The 2suit has large flaps which open at the groin and is covered in Velcro which enables users to attach to each other and engage in sexual intercourse.
next time
We still have a couple posts left in our space procreating series, including how do we have babies in space assuming we get the sex problems worked out, and can we even have babies with people born off earth. While you are waiting feel free to get caught up on the rest of the medical reading here (blood, doctors, sleep, and what happens to pets up yonder)
If you have questions or ideas – shoot them to me below, and I’ll work them in.